The Value of ME!

When asked to describe yourself (or tell someone about “ME”), you have options.  The answer to that question might depend on who is making the inquiry.  Most people describe themselves by what they think defines them, for instance by gender,  married or single, their age, the size of  their family (ie. one brother, two sisters, “I’m second of four children etc.), by their occupation , where they reside and sometimes by religious preference.  There are many ways one can describe them self, but the safest and least revealing way is by focusing on labels that keep attention on the surface “ME”.

Many times we mold answers to fit the situation.  If you are responding to a potential employer, you might say without reservation, “I am punctual”; “I’m a self-starter”; “I’m a perfectionist”; “I’m a team-player” or  “I put in as much time as it takes to get the job done”, etc.  If you are responding to a dating questionnaire you might see yourself as “sensitive”; “a good listener”; “faithful”; “with an up-beat attitude” or “more concerned about the well-being of my partner than myself”. In these cases you want to accentuate your positive traits and you want the inquirer to see the “You” that is the perfect fit.

But the “ME” I’m referencing for this topic is the “ME” that surfaces when a person is alone with their thoughts in an empty room,  looks in the mirror for more than a cursory glance and asks themself that “moment-of-truth” probing question… “Who am I?” or “Why am I like this?”  That can be a life changing moment, and it takes an inordinate amount of courage to pursue the answer.  Why?  We are the sum- total of our life experiences.  Every experience has left its impression on us…the good, the bad and the ugly.  To dig around in our mental recesses is a double-edged sword because that exploration can uncover some truths, half-truths, lies, tender moments and very painful moments.  But the fact is, everyone has a past.  Like it or not, our past is a major contributor to who we are today.

Needless to say, if our past has been predominantly happy, positive and constructive our self-image reflects that.  If our past is predominantly unhappy, negative and destructive our self-image reflects that as well.   If the latter scenario describes our past, we can be held in bondage for years – sometimes for the rest of our life if those issues are not met head-on and thoroughly addressed.   The truth is: open wounds that are left unattended continue to fester and many times rear their ugly head at the most inopportune time.

The cornerstone of modern day psychology is capsulized in the following statement.  Whatever information we put into our head, whether true or false, shapes our expectations and our actions follow.  For instance, one who is ridiculed, not supported and told they are not capable of accomplishing much in life is probably going to make different choices than someone who received praise, was supported and encouraged to be all they can be.  When we let labels identify who we are, we tend to live our lives in a way that validates that identity.  In many cases that label is based on half-truths or even outright lies.

Everyone at some point has to deal with the weight of the labels they are carrying.   The result of that weight can manifest itself in many ways including unwanted stress, and that stress can lead to behaviors that result in unwanted or unexpected consequences.  Most psychologist would concur that bad behavior (ie. drug and alcohol addictions, outbursts of anger, promiscuity etc.) are symptomatic of more deep-seeded emotional issues such as fear of abandonment, lack of love, poor self-image, etc.  Those behavioral issues affect not only the one suffering, but the collateral damage is far reaching.  Many times those closest to victim bear the brunt of that truth.  All too often relationships that are tainted by unhealthy behavior become irreparably damaged if appropriate help is not found.

If the undesirable behavior is symptomatic of more deep seeded emotional issues, it would seem the answer to the problem lies in the treatment of the emotional issue.   Let’s return to the cornerstone of modern day psychology.  If “what we put in our head shapes our expectations and our actions follow”, is it not logical that reprograming the control center (the mind) of the one suffering could bring about a desired change of behavior?  Not only is it logical, but it is absolutely possible and that is what the program described below is designed to accomplish.

In 1939 Bill Wilson, a stock broker, and Bob Smith, a doctor, penned one of the most successful treatment programs to date,  Alcoholics Anonymous.  AA is based on a logical 12 step process that is designed to produce a positive change in both attitude and behavior, and there are literally millions of testimonies to its success.

But even with that track record, AA is one of the most misunderstood programs among the general population.  Everyone has heard of it, yet if you ask anyone on the street what the program is intended to accomplish, the unanimous answer is, “to help you stop drinking.  That is the wrong answer! That is the desired end result, but the program itself is about CHANGE…change in the way the person thinks, how the person views himself and ultimately how he conducts himself.

The Value of ME! incorporates many of the proven principles of the 12 step program in order to bring about desired changes in both attitude and behavior.  This approach has been used by this author for the past seven years and has produced successful results whether dealing with relationship issues, over-eating, compulsive shopping, anger issues, gambling addiction, pornography addiction, or substance abuse. The purpose of this approach is to change a person from the inside out, meaning the design is not to deal just with the symptom but to deal with the root cause.   It is the process itself that can literally transform you into a new person and give you a second chance at life…and who doesn’t want a second chance at life?

I will be happy to discuss with you the methodology and more specific details of this approach at a free forty-five minute consultation.  At that time you can get answers to specific questions you may have about the program.  THE VALUE OF ME! is not covered by insurance, but with that in mind the cost is designed to be surprisingly affordable.

To schedule your free consultation, CONTACT PASTOR DAN and fill out the request form.  I look forward to meeting you.

TO READ “THE VALUE OF ME!” TESTIMONIES, CLICK HERE