Good Morning, Meetpastordan Readers… I have always felt there are two fundamental principles from which the rest of the words in the Bible emanate, and those two principles are 1. God is Love and 2. God wants a relationship with us…each and every one of us; and not just a here and now relationship, but an eternal relationship. If those two principles are not stated that clearly and succinctly on every page of the Bible, they are certainly interwoven in the Scripture. Since we were created for a relationship with our Creator, that makes the inter-working of these two principles particularly special. In other words, without love there can be no relationship. And to view this on a worldly level, since the divorce rate is so astronomically high in our culture, it bears examining the requirements of a successful relationship.
In the original Greek language of the New Testament, there were four different words that indicated four different levels of love. Eros, meaning physical attraction; Phileo, means beyond physical attraction, and a deeper feeling (friendship) is developing; Storge, refers to “family”-type love such as siblings have for one another, or parents have for their children; and Agape love is the highest form of love; it is self-sacrificial love. That is the love Jesus demonstrated while he was on earth, so every time the word “love” is used in the Bible, it refers to Agape love.
I believe we also have three different words in our language that indicates different levels of personal interaction between people. One is “acquaintance”, meaning we recognize one another, we wave,and we make idle conversation. Next is “friend”, meaning we have invested enough time developing a friendship that we know what makes the other person “tick”…and we truly “like” them. And finally we have a “relationship”, meaning we have progressed beyond the friendship level and there is a feeling of mutual trust and safety that allows each of us to express what’s really going on in our heart. If you look at your own life, you can probably pick out those who fall into these three catagories.
Now let’s look and see how all of this applies to our life. God is simply described by one word in 1John, 4:8: “God is Love”, and again in 1John 4:19 we are told, “We love because God first loved us.” And in Ephesians 1:4-5 we are told, “Long ago, even before he created the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.” And perhaps my favorite verse in the Bible, Romans 5:6 tells us in crystal-clear terms when God implemented his unchanging plan: “When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.” Wow! Now let’s look carefully at the lessons for our life contained in Ephesians and Romans above.
Long ago, even before God created the world – and even before he created Man – he had a plan for us. So why do you think he had an alternative plan even before he did the creating? Well…because God is Love, Omniscient and Omnipotent, he knew we were going to use the free-will he had to give us so we could choose to enter into a relationship with him, for a purpose other than for which it was intended. And sure enough, right out of the gate Man was disobedient by taking the focus off God and putting it on himself by exercising his free will for his own pleasure. Now bear in mind, that didn’t surprise God because he knows we are only dust. That is why he always had a plan for our salvation in Jesus Christ. He knew that he would have to do for us what we would prove from Creation to 2016 years ago that we could not do for ourselves.
Romans tells us when the time was right to implement His plan: when we were utterly helpless. From Creation to 2016 years ago, Mankind was never able to overcome the SIN issue that separated us from God. In fact, we continued to spiral downward and downward until we were utterly helpless! As I see this, I suspect God looked at his proudest creation and said, “I have to do this now if I want if I want anyone to be worthy and without fault in my eyes to spend eternity with me in Paradise.” Notice his unconditional love in this matter. He didn’t wait until we cleaned up our act or we got it all together. He paid our sin ransom WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS! Not only is God’s love unconditional, but it is unfailing and unending because it is still available to anyone who wants it today.
No doubt our number one relationship commitment is intended to be with God. That is clearly stated in the First Commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me”. But no doubt the next most important relationship is the one with your spouse, in fact God ordained that relationship right after he created man. Genesis 2:18; 1:28 tells us, “And the Lord said, ‘it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion to help him. God blessed them and told them ‘be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth.” Genesis 2: 24 expresses God’s design for marriage, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two become one.”
No doubt, relationships – and I am using the term generically now to mean the interaction between people – are the most challenging encounters of our life. And that should be no surprise, because we are each one a unique specimen. Our souls (mind, emotions, and will) are shaped by our life experiences from early childhood into adulthood, and we all have learned coping methods to survive in this fallen world. (You realize this isn’t paradise…right?) But the relationship I want to talk about right now is the marriage relationship. It is the most challenging because it is intended to be a life-long commitment through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse…Wowzzzzer! Notice the above paragraph where I underlined and highlighted the last five words. That is referred to as the “mystery of marriage”, and for most people it remains a mystery and accounts for the high divorce rate.
Most people can relate to “two becoming one” on a physical level, but what does it mean on a spiritual level? Once you figure that out, you have the keys to a successful marriage.
I have the privilege of facilitating a marriage class. We are using a book called, “Keep Your Love On” by Danny Silk. (I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to delve deeper into this subject.) The author refers to the goal of marriage as “connection”, and he states that in any relationship we are either moving toward connection or disconnection. Connection results from wanting to love our spouse, and showing it by our words and deeds. And secondly it requires that we know our spouses’ “love language” (needs and desires) and purposely speak to those needs through our actions.
When Jesus was on this earth, his relationship with people was always expressed in Agape love. In other words, his focus was about sharing his love with the other person (ie.putting them first, meeting their needs, exalting them.) In a marriage, we want our spouse to feel loved in the same way; we want them to know they are the most important person in our world, and that we are willing to do whatever necessary to achieve that connection!
But the most important aspect of a successful marriage is inviting God to be at the center. As the married couple, you make up two strands of the marriage cord, but when you ask God to be the third strand – just like what the sailors learned years ago when they were transporting goods across the ocean, when they moved from a two-stranded rope to a three-stranded rope to tie down the cargo – it was virtually unbreakable against high winds and rough seas. The same is true of a marriage relationship. You will be much better prepared to face the trials and tribulations that will surely come your way when God is the third strand of your marriage.
Apostle Paul defines agape love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. To anyone who reads this, without even trying it, will immediately realize this is impossible to accomplish by our own will. But the good news is…as a Christ-follower we have the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit in us to give us wisdom, insight, revelation, courage, strength, patience, perseverance, whatever it is we need to bring honor and glory to God through our choices to accomplish his purpose in our marriage. This gift is given to us as part of his salvation package so we can rise above our circumstances, or life’s challenges, to become the person he created us to be. This is substantiated in James 4:10, “When we bow down (not a religious gesture, but a state of humility) before the Lord and admit our dependence on him, he will lift us up and give us honor.” I have found this Scripture to be an unfailing plank in my platform of faith. A-men!
Our class goal: To achieve and maintain “connection” with my spouse. I will ask the Holy Spirit to give me eyes to see, ears to hear, wisdom to understand, and a willingness to love my spouse with the same unconditional love He imparts to me.”
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May God Bless Ya…
Dan Presgrave (a.k.a. Pastor Dan)
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